If You Can Still Hear Me Right Now

if you can hear me right now, wherever you are, i want you to know how much you are loved. how much you are missed. how much my heart aches every time something makes me think of you and i am reminded once again that you're gone.

if you can hear me right now, i want you to know how sorry i am that i went to bed that last night, how much i regret not moving home to be with you, how angry i am at god for making you suffer through so much.

if you can hear me right now i want you to know that i miss hearing your voice - that i replay the one and only voicemail from you i have on my phone on repeat, like a sad broken record.

if you can hear me right now i just really, really need to know that you're ok. and that i will see you again. please, find a way to tell me, ok?

if you can hear me right now, i just want you to know that i love you more.