Turns Out, There is Champagne in Heaven

my mom had a thing about lipstick...

a firm belief that a smile and the perfect color could make you feel better on even your worst day.

she always carried one with her - usually in one of those old-school lipstick cases with the little mirror on it. i found one in her dresser once while i was locked away in her closet, gripping tight to her favorite sweater just trying to remember her smell.

i keep that lipstick case with me always now. but instead of lipstick - it holds some of her ashes. i carry her with me because even though she is gone, i always want to feel her with me. in moments of anxiety or pain, i reach into my purse and hold her, and remember she is there.

most of her ashes are at home. some we spread in the lake and among the trees at our cabin in eagle river, her favorite place in the world.

but mom was a world traveler, so she had a lot of "favorite" places.

so this past week, while in mexico, my fiancé and i waited till sunset, grabbed two glasses of champagne, toasted to mom, and set part of her free in the waves.

holding her ashes in my hands again, feeling her crushed bone and coarse remains falling from my fingertips was as soul-crushing that day as it was the first time. i wept for her, her memory, her love, and her fate. i cried as the waves crashed into me and took those few pieces of her with them.

it was painful, and it was perfect. as i walked from the water back to my fiancé i looked at him and said "where is my champagne?" he smiled at me and said,

"your mom took it."

despite how far up i had placed my glass on the beach, that same wave that carried away her ashes also crept just far enough up the shore to take my glass with it. i knew she was with us in that moment.

salud mom. 🥂

#istherechampagneinheaven #missyoumore #psiloveyou